Hello, My Name is ________: Creative and Fun Events for Your Sunday School/Small Group and/or Ministry

Originally Posted on August 14, 2020

Webinar Transcript

– So, let me just state again, my name is Kris Swiatocho and I lead a ministry called TheSinglesNetwork.org, and it is the Wikipedia of singles ministry. It’s the largest website in the world on how to start and grow your singles ministry. I’ve been doing this for over 20 years. My heart is for singles. I was in a singles ministry in my 20s that literally made a difference in my life. That made a difference whether I would have continued to follow God or followed myself. And because of that singles ministry and its impact on my life, it was very well-structured, organized, there was a plan, there was leadership training, because of that, I learned from the best. And it would be another 10 years though, after I left that group. And in that process of those 10 years, I became a part of a smaller church and I would learn from the ground up. And I learned, as I started helping other ministries and ministries I didn’t even really felt called to be in, but felt the Lord telling me to be in it, because God was molded and shaping me and getting me ready to start singles ministry on my own. And so, the next 10 years I would work at different churches as a volunteer and everywhere that I went, I kept starting ministries. And I’d start it, train people and let go. Started, train and to let go. And I realized that I really wasn’t a manager. I’m more of a motivator and a clipper and a trainer, and I love giving it away. And I know some of you may go, “Really?” Because I like to control too. I like being in charge, But no, I do. I really love to give it away, but I don’t wanna give it away until I feel the people that I give it to are equipped and ready to take it on. Then I love staying in touch with people and seeing how they’re doing. And I continue to encourage them and offer them training and resources to help them keep doing what they’re doing, because you don’t have a baby and leave it on the doorstep. When you grow people in the Lord, you wanna continue to grow them. You wanna continue to pour into them. And so, I did the same thing. And then about 20, some years ago, I was working with campus crusade. I was affiliate staff with them. And I had gotten training all over the world. I had served underneath different pastors. I had done greeter ministry and Sunday school ministry and was teaching Bible studies. And God called me to take over our ministry called The Singles Network, which was a campus crusade ministry. And at the beginning, it was just to network people. It was to network churches, provide some training and we put on one big event a month called Believers’ Community. And that’s kinda where it started. And then God would continually start to change it. And from there I started getting phone calls from different churches around the country, and I started going out and helping other people. In the past 20 years, I have done contract staff with over 15 churches where I’ve started ministry, grown ministry. And so, I wouldn’t say I’m a total expert at a whole bit. I don’t know everything. I’m still learning. I’m still absorbing and talking to people who’ve been doing it longer than me, but I think I’ve got a pretty good handle on how to start singles ministry and how to grow it. And I’m hoping after today, you’ll have one more thing that you’ll know better, which is our socials and why are we doing them. So, I mentioned that I did Believers’ Community, which was this monthly gathering for singles. We had a band, we had music, I mean, band is music, we had a teacher and we had fellowship. And so, what made it so successful was that it was structured. It was strategic. There was a purpose behind it for people praying. We made sure this is what we needed to do. And after X amount of years, it changed. We moved it to a different church and X amount of years, it changed, we moved to another church. And then finally it had done its thing and it had produced all the fruit it was gonna produce, and it was time to let it go. That’s one of the things about socials is, and our ministries, is when is God telling us it’s time to make changes? When is it time to let something go? Or just because it’s always been done, doesn’t mean you gotta keep doing it if it’s not effective. So we named this, “Hello, My Name is ______:” I’ve got my lovely name tag here because I really love name tags. And I think they’re very important. And I wasn’t gonna share about this, about name tags, but I thought it’d be kinda fun, is why don’t we put the name tag on our right shoulder? Because most people handshake obviously with their right hands. I know some of you lefties are like, “It’s not fair.” But when you handshake somebody, your eye naturally flows up and it goes to this part of your body. When our name tags are put over our heart, people have to visually move their eye across our chest. It’s not as easy to do. So, we always wanna put our name tag over here, so it’s easier for people to see our name. We want a really big, first name and either know last name or a small last name, because we don’t want people to have to go like this to find or to read your name. And you definitely don’t wanna write it in pencil or pen. Definitely a magic marker. But here’s another thing about name tags and about refreshments and just a little sidebar. When we go into a new environment, when we go to a gathering at someone’s home or a gathering at the church, or pretty much gathering anywhere, we offer snacks most of the time. And I know a lot of people tease Christians that we’re always eating and why are we always eating. Well, because it makes people feel safe. See, when someone has something in their hands, here’s an example, I have my coffee cup in my hand and I go to handshake. I’m blocking my most sensitive area. I call it my bubble. I’m blocking my space. And I can give you a handshake. And I’m saying, “I don’t know you yet.” So, I’m gonna greet you and say hello, but I’m gonna still keep this space protected. If I walk around and I’ve already greeted everybody and then I have a snack, let’s say I have a sandwich and its on a plate and I have my cup, I’m also protecting myself. But when I don’t have anything, I have nothing here and I’m kind of walking around like this, I’ve made myself vulnerable and I’m uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do with my hands. I don’t necessarily want a handshake or acknowledge. I’m not quite there yet. So, food gives people safety. So, it’s not so much that we’re gosh, should we ever not have an event with food, yes, I get that about the food, but you don’t have to always have something unhealthy. The point is, is that people need to be able to put something in their hand and choose when they wanna take that out of their hand and let it down when they feel comfortable and safe so that they would give you a big hug and say, “Hey, come on in,” and that kind of thing. So, next time you have an event, look at people’s body language. Look at how they’re holding their cups of food or their plate of food and their cups and see the ones that start to put it down and see the changes, or they sit it on their chair so they can greet. And you’ll notice those are the ones that are most comfortable, that have felt the most security, safety, and it definitely should be your leaders. And that’s just a little sidebar. So, let’s get going with the outline. And like I said, you got a question, put it in the Q & A, you got a comment, you got, “Hey, I’ve got a great resource,” you can put that in the side chat. But either way, we’ll find your information. So, I made a comment in the description of this webinar that anybody can order KFC or a pizza and have a social. It doesn’t take a whole lot of brain cells to pick up the phone order pizza, “Hey, people come over.” But if you wanna see growth, if you want your numbers to go up, if you want your maturity to go up among the people that are there, then you need a plan. Because we know in singles ministry, healthy singles get married, healthy singles move to other parts of the church and healthy singles just move. And what you’re left with are a few healthy ones that choose to be in your singles ministry or Sunday school class, or small group, and all the unhealthy ones that never leave. Now, some of the unhealthy ones could get healthy. Maybe they just need a little extra care. Maybe they need time to get over a divorce that they’re really struggling, or maybe they’re taking care of an elderly parent, or maybe they’ve had a sickness. Those are not the ones I’m talking about. Those are the ones that just need some time. But there are the unhealthy ones that never seem to get healthy, never change. And if you don’t balance out your ministry with healthy, eventually all the unhealthy takeover. So, that’s why our socials are events. And when I used the word social, I mean in anything. Any type of event, any type of gathering, anything beyond your Bible study where people fellowship. So, I’m just gonna use that word as a blanket and you’ll know what I mean. So I don’t have to keep mentioning all the other words. Okay? So, let me ask you a question. Do you remember when you’re a kid playing and you’re playing with other kids and maybe you’re at your grandma’s house or you’re in the neighborhood. And like in my time, we went outside and played for hours and nobody worried about kids getting kidnapped and, but you would play and play and play. And the games that were really good, you played over and over. Hide-and-seek, tag, I used to play Mother May I and Red Rover and climb trees or games that you would play. You would play with your Barbies, you would play Army Men or Hero, or monopoly UNO. UNO is always a game that everybody loves, right? But then occasionally you’d suggest a game, occasionally, even like UNO, or when you were a kid, you’d go, “Hey, let’s play tag, let’s do this,” and people would make that comment like, “Oh, we always do that.” What does that mean? “We always do that.” It means they’re bored. It means that you’ve repeated something to the point to where it’s lost its interest. It’s lost it’s challenge. Something’s not good anymore about it. And so, that’s what happens in our ministries, and our small groups. We get bored because sometimes we do the same thing over and over, and there’s nothing, we don’t even know why we’re doing it. There doesn’t seem to be a value. There doesn’t seem to be any interest. There doesn’t seem to be inclusion where, not inclusion, but input. Like there’s nobody else helping. It’s the same handful of people doing all the work. So, that’s a time, it’s time to evaluate and go, “Are we really doing this?” Now I know as we get older, I know as we get older, a lot of senior singles, their idea of excitement is to pick a different restaurant. They are not so much want to play UNO at a house for 14 hours or go outside and go on a long hike. But even amongst senior singles, I know they love the occasional road trip to a different restaurant, maybe in a different city, or maybe there’s a gospel group that’s playing, or maybe there’s some helping hands ministry. So, I even know among senior singles that are able physically and mobile, also like to do different things and would love to see more people do it. The more people you’re around, the more energy it creates and that’s fun. So, why do we have events then? Why do we have socials? And what is the point to them? Well, the socials primary purpose is to connect people in your class. That’s the primary purpose. In your small group or ministry, you do it because you’re trying to connect people that already are there, already go to it, already are part of it, having come in on a regular basis. But understand all socials, all activities should come as a result of a foundation that you put in. Meaning it comes out of a Bible study, out of a small group, out of a Sunday school class. A lot of singles ministries wanna build their ministry based on socials first. I get phone calls from a lot of women that are like, “Hi, my kids are gone. My husband, I’m divorced and I just need something to do on a Friday night. So I’m gonna start a singles ministry.” It doesn’t work that way. Now, if you want something to do on Friday night, then gather up a bunch of your friends and go do stuff, but don’t call it a ministry. A ministry has a plan. A ministry has strategy. A ministry is what I call a strategic fellowship. A ministry has leaders. A ministry is watching where those leaders are going. A ministry is gonna follow up. A ministry is gonna make sure people have name tags so that we know who’s there. A ministry is gonna have people sign up so that we, again, can track who’s there. Because we wanna help grow people in the Lord, and I can’t help you when I don’t even know who’s there. So, building a ministry where you do just fun stuff is not a ministry. That’s called a club. And if that’s what you want, is a dinner club, then you do that. But as a Christian, I’m called to do more than just socials where they’re just whatever. Now, do I have some friends that we pick up the phone and say, “Hey, we’re going out to watch dinner. Let’s go.” Yeah, it’s not a ministry. We’re just going out to dinner. But when I actually have things where I have people come help me and we set up, then it’s strategy. And I’m actually giving instruction and giving direction on what we’re doing, because we wanna be able to measure it. We want to make sure that people feel safe when they’re there and feel protected when they’re there. We want the quiet ones, someone to talk to them. We want the loners to let them know, we love that they’re there. And I definitely don’t want all my leaders in a Holy huddle cluster together to sit in one end of the table at the Mexican restaurant. I want them spread out so they can listen in on the conversations and hear what people are saying about their lives. When our class is healthy, when our small group is healthy, this is what’s going to create a healthy social. We want our classrooms, we want our small groups to be healthy. From a healthy group, will come a healthy strategic fellowship. But when our classes are not healthy, when they’re weird and dysfunctional and inconsistent and no one’s following up, there’s no unity. And then when you have a social and it doesn’t work out, you can typically look back and go, “Wow, I tried to create something from nothing.” So, keep that in mind as you guys are planning. Ezra 3:11 says, “And they sang responsibly, praising and giving thanks to God.” Now, hear that, they sang responsibly, means they were listening to what was being said, praising God, giving thanks to God, that’s worship. “For He is good. For his steadfast love endures forever towards Israel. And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid.” When the right foundation is there, when your class is growing, when your class is structured, your class is healthy, your group is healthy, there’s a strategicness in your small group, in your ministry. As a result of that, people are gonna praise God. People are gonna worship God and people are gonna wanna get together outside of their Sunday school class or their ministry to do things because they began to see that it’s not about them and they begin to see, “Now it’s a strategic fellowship and it’s gonna have purpose, and it’s gonna help grow our class.” So, here’s some more reasons why we have socials. We want to allow members to interact with people outside the class. I’m happy to get to know the people in, which is good, to get to know in the class because I can get to know maybe some of their families. And maybe I have a cookout at somebody’s house and they invite their sister, or they invite their mother who lives with them, or they invite their kids and we can get to know them. And that’s great to expand our, to get to know more people in our class, but we also do them to get to know people outside of our class. Maybe extended family members. Maybe your neighbors. Maybe someone that you work with. This is even somebody that’s lost. Understand, social strategic fellowships are a great way. It’s a soft, easy, safe way to bring someone lost into our ministry, into our church. They may come to a social way before they come to your Sunday school class or your small group, because they’re lost. Church to them is, “Ooh.” But if you said, “Hey, there’s a bunch of us going to a movie tonight.” Or, “Hey, there’s a bunch of us gonna go hike.” And you don’t have to say it’s First Baptist. You don’t have to say it’s using singles ministry, whatever. You can just say a bunch of us are going hiking. And the point of that, is that you know it’s strategic. You know what you’re doing. You know why you’re inviting them. Because you’re hoping to get to know them, to get to know a little bit about them and to let them see that Christians are all not, all of us are not weird and strange, and they begin to go, “Wow, these are some really nice people. I really enjoyed this.” And so understand. So, that’s where the part becomes a strategic. It’s not just your Sunday school class having a cookout, your ministry going on a hike, but there’s purpose behind it because remember, our entire purpose in life is a relationship with God and have that relationship that glorifies Him, a relationship with other people to bring them to Christ. Everything we do has to have that mindset. So, even if you go to dinner with your four or five friends, you still need to have that mindset. You still need to have the mindset that, “I’m here with my five friends. Can I encourage them? Can I support them? Can we tip our waitress really good? Can we witness to our waitress? Can we pray together as a group of friends?” There’s still strategy because even among your little group of friends, you’re trying to grow with each other in the Lord. Iron sharpens iron. So, always keep that mentality. Otherwise, what’s the purpose? What’s the purpose. And so, we’re gonna talk a little bit more about that later. So, the more we know each other, the more we bond. The more we bond, the stronger our ministry becomes. Socials, just like singles ministry, is not the end. It’s just a gate for people to come through. A gate that they might not come another way. Singles ministry is the same. It’s not an end. We don’t bring people in a singles ministry, our Sunday school classes and that’s where they stay. We bring them in, to create the connection, to get them to Jesus, to help grow them in the Lord, to help get them healthy. Maybe some of them may end up being leaders and then some of them won’t. They may go on to other classes. They may get married. They may move. But if we’ve helped them to get healthier, then we’re gonna help somebody else when they go to the next ministry. So, as I mentioned earlier, without strategy our socials or events, you’re just ordering pizza. So, we need to be strategic in our goals for our socials, in our purpose of why are we having it? What’s the point? And the way that we position our leadership. And plus we need a way to track who’s been there. Proverbs 21:15 says, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” You hear that? The plans of the diligent, diligent is intentional, strategic, purposeful, leads to abundance. Abundance in numbers, abundance in relationships, abundance in spiritual growth, because numbers is not the only way to measure growth, we all know that, “But everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” People who are not planners, people who just throw this together, whatever. And I’m not saying that the last minute you guys, so send out on social media, “Hey, we’re all going to the movies,” or, “Hey, we’re all gonna go for a walk,” but even in that, you need to be aware of who’s coming. You need to be aware of the people that maybe they invited. You need to float around as a leader and talk to different people that you don’t know. You need to acknowledge them because one, you’re acknowledging them because people like to be acknowledged. They like it when someone says, “Well, Hey Kris. Well, hey Pamela. Hey Eileen.” And you’re like, “Oh, hi, it’s nice to meet you.” But also I’m doing it to watch the door. I wanna know who’s coming into this ministry. I wanna know a little bit about them. I wanna know why they’re there. I’m very protective of my ministry, right? And you should be protective of yours because the enemy does, he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. We know that. So, we have to be very careful and watch what comes in and aware of what’s going on in our ministries. So, here’s a few other reasons we do socials. Well, they should be fun and enjoyable, right? Have you ever been to one that’s not? Have you ever been to a gathering at someone’s house and it’s lame, there’s no good music, the food’s terrible, it’s unorganized, the way they’ve set up, the food is terrible, there’s nobody doing anything, you can’t find anywhere to park, and it’s oh, crazy. No they’re supposed to be fun and enjoyable. They should promote relationships within the church. When you do an icebreaker, a table discussion, game activity, road trip, mission trip, all of these are to help promote relationships in the church. I love icebreakers. You guys, a lot of you know that I’m an icebreaker fanatic. I sell a couple hundred of them online on my website. And it’s just, the reason I love icebreakers is because it gives people permission to go talk to somebody they would never normally talk to. And for the two out there that hate it, we just tell you to just stay seated. It doesn’t bother us. But we know people want an excuse to go talk to that person. Maybe you meet somebody and they’ve also been divorced. Maybe you’ve met somebody and they’re also from Ohio. Maybe you met somebody in there also a singer. You don’t know without an opportunity for that to happen. So, icebreakers do that. And of course, also there’s a really cute guy you wanna meet. That’s another talk. But then table discussions is a great way to, again, get to know somebody a little bit more and to find out more about their story. Road trips and mission trips also help people. So, these are all fellowship type things that allows us to get to know people because there’s a strategy behind it. We’re getting to know them because one, we want to see where they are spiritually, so we know what our part is or do we need to lead them to the Lord? Do we need to help lead them to the Lord? Do we need to get them to resources in our churches? Do they need celebrate recovery? Divorce recovery? Do they need just a friend? Or maybe they’ve got leadership background and skills, and we wanna use them in that way. Also, your socials should promote team building. When you work together and create and are building an activity, you’re building a team. And so, teamwork helps grow any ministry. And so, we do this, like if you have a cookout at someone’s house, there’s a team of people that put it on and a team of people that clean up. If you’re gonna go on a road trip or do a mission trip, there’s a team that organizes, that does the marketing, that does the prayer. So, all of this, it looks like a social, but it’s actually building your team. Recently, and some of you guys know this that are watching, we have our big annual retreat that we do over there, LibertySingles.org. And we had to cancel this year due to the COVID, but we’re already planning next year and excited. And so, we look at that and I look at my team and I have the most amazing team that helps put it on. And there’s no way, there’s no way we could do what we do without incredible amount of leaders. We have like 20 leaders and another 40 or 50 volunteers, or probably even more. And I value every one of these people, but we didn’t have the event this year. And people were kinda bummed and I was bummed, but I realized that the event comes once a year, but these relationships with these people, I have these relationships every day. So, don’t get so focused on the social that you also forget about the relationships of the people who help you put it on. Because that’s just as important in the strategy of your socials as the social. In Ecclesiastics 4:9-10, it says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for the toil. For if the fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.” This is the importance of socials. We know, like I said, it’s a gateway for some people, but it’s also a way for people to feel relaxed and connected to someone else and they’re not alone. I think the biggest struggle with doing online ministry in the last few months, is that we still feel alone. And even though right now with this webinar, you’re not able to interact other than chat with each other, but I want you to know that you’re not alone. And you guys can email me or text me if I can help you and I’m sure the rest of you are the same way. We don’t want anybody to feel alone because the enemy wants to do that to you. He wants to get you by yourself. So, what’s great about this workshop is that we’re gonna also talk about some online ways that you can connect and also have that strategy, but also that fellowship. Because we know this, we’d love to all have tons of socials again. We love to be doing things again every weekend, but not everybody can, depending on what part of the country you’re in. But it still doesn’t mean you can’t socialize. The other one of your reasons is they promote outrage. When you’re working well as a team within the church, you’re ready to go and reach the people outside. You’re ready to evangelize. So, the more organized you are as a class, as a ministry, the more organized you are when you do your socials, because you know your socials are to grow your members, reach lost people, reach other people you haven’t seen in a while because ultimately, you wanna reach the world for Christ. Mark 16:15 says, “And he said to them, ‘Go to all the world, proclaim the gospel to whole creation.'” So, socials are just the beginning step of what God can do in each person’s life to help them go beyond their little circle of friends. So, what happens though, when your socials are not fun anymore? They’re boring, people say they’re boring, “Oh, we’ve already done that. It’s not much fun.” Or your numbers start to drop off and you’re not really sure why, or people say, “Oh, I will hope we’re gonna have the dinner this weekend,” but then they don’t show up, or, “Yeah, yeah. I wanna do this and this and this,” and you do a survey and they mark all these things they wanna do and you’re plan them and they don’t show up. I’m sure a lot of you can relate to that one because I’m the same way. I have a rule when I plan a social that I don’t plan anything that I don’t wanna be by myself because I might be by myself. Now, if I really wanna do the event, like I’ve planned a hiking event coming up and I’ve planned it with a friend of mine, Michelle, and she’s one of my leaders, and we’re gonna go hiking. no matter if anybody says or not, because we wanna go hiking. That’s the cool thing too. Make sure whatever you do, that it is exactly what God wants you to do. But we’re gonna talk a little bit more detailed of that. Because we’re not just talking about a hike where you can go hiking by yourself, but we’re talking about where you plan events, where you’re gonna need a team of people, a strategy or go to a restaurant and you’ve got a table that seats 25. We need to have strategy when we plan those. What happens when there’s lack of enthusiasm? People are there, but they don’t seem to be engaged. Or you have an event in a house and they sit on the couch and they never leave. They stay in that one spot the whole night. Or what if it’s the same people doing all the work. They do all the setup, all the cleanup and there’s nobody else doing anything. There’s a key there. Nobody else is doing anything. So, here’s some questions to ask. What is the purpose behind your social? Is it something we feel we need or we’re called to do? Or is it just a couple people that want it? “Well, this classroom has social, so we should have socials.” Okay. Well, are you sure it’s what God wants you to have? How’s the healthiness of your class, your ministry? Are you ready to do it? Do you understand what a social for, is to reach lost people. It’s to grow the group, but it’s also to reach lost people. It’s a gateway. Do you get that’s what it is? It’s not a little Holy huddle of gesture people in a little click, although we need things for that too, but we should always be thinking outward. We’re trying to reach the world for Christ. So, you wanna have this event, but do you really get the reasoning behind it and the strategy that needs to be in it? Probably not. Have we involved others to help using their ideas and gifts and talents? Have I met with them and shared the vision, my vision, or the vision of the class and hear their ideas? The key is to meet with people personally, not just fill out a survey, but to say, “Okay, I see on the survey that you marked that you like to hike. Tell me about that.” “Oh, I just occasionally like.” And you look at them and they don’t look like they’re in shape and you’re like, “How many hikes have they been doing?” And you come to find out, they’ve never hiked. They have no idea that a hike is seven, eight, 10 miles. So, then you peel away the layer and you go, “Well, what would you really like to do?” “Well, I just wanna get outside and do something fun outside.” Let’s talk about what that would look like. “Well, maybe we can just go to a park and bring our dogs and our kids and…” “Okay.” So, you’re not gonna know that unless you peel away the layers and start talking to people and really find out, and then you say, “Well how about, would you be willing to help us lead this?” What does that involve? What, do you have a job description? Are you strategic? If you’re gonna be in charge of this event, what does that look like? Or if you’re gonna help with it, can you get there early? Can you get a picnic table set up? Can you go get a grill? Can you bring these food items? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So, understand we get frustrated when people sign up and say, “I wanna do all these things,” and we plan in them and they don’t come to them because it’s just an interest. There’s no really ownership. There’s no real investment. So, I’m leery of doing surveys that just kinda blanket at all. I would rather meet with people individually, even by Zoom and saying, “What would you like to do? What would you like to do?” Maybe right now you have to do smaller group outings because of COVID. I don’t know. But find out what people really wanna do it. See if there’s enough interest and enough ownership and enough maturity that people will start it, grow it, they will connect with people that are there, they will help clean up because otherwise, you’re gonna get burned out and then you’re not gonna wanna do it at all. And then the enemy wins because socials can be a powerful tool to use to reach the lost. Other questions that need to ask is, have I been willing to try different things, change, be creative, do something different. Okay, we go to a restaurant, but let’s do something different in the restaurant. Or let’s do a appetizer hop instead where we go from restaurant to restaurant a restaurant, just to order an appetizer and then go to the next restaurant. Let’s do a backwards progressive dinner. Let’s change it up and do something different, so it’s not always so boring and the same old same. How are we evaluating the socials to see what is expected? Well, I’m sorry, let me rephrase that. Are we evaluating the socials to see if what we’ve done was what was expected? If people said, “Oh, we had a paint party and it wasn’t what I thought we were gonna do.” What happened? What did you think? Come to find that you didn’t have a really good description about it when you advertised it and people were misled. Or you had game night and people think, “Oh, we’re just gonna come and play UNO,” and come to find it’s some game that your grandma invented 500 years ago and you want everybody to do it. Be very clear in your communication of what things are so that your expectations will be met. Do you see fruit in your socials? Are people talking, connecting, getting to know each other, or they’re fine in their spot and they’re not moving? We have a tendency to do that, but again, if you’re strategic, you should encourage movement. You should encourage people not to sit in the same place, not to sit beside the same people. You would encourage them to go and try to meet as many people as possible. And that’s why icebreakers are great. So, it makes you, it forces you to go get up off your butt and go talk to people. Okay? Are your socials, your events too expensive to where some people can never go, which is not bad because sometimes, I don’t wanna always have to eat at McDonald’s and let the kids play in the little play area. I like to do things that might cost a little bit more. Maybe a concert is $30 a ticket, or maybe you’re gonna go whitewater rafting. It’s a hundred dollars. You have to save up. But also if they’re always too expensive, you’ve eliminated people. But if they’re free, nobody values them and they know that they can sign up at the last minute, no big deal. Is there anything prohibiting people from attending the socials? If like Graham is watching this, Graham is in a wheelchair and we’ve had to think about that every year we do a prayer experience in our big labor day retreat. And people said, “Why don’t you do part of it upstairs in the gym?” And I said, “Because Graham can’t get upstairs.” So, you have to think about what you’re planning, is it limiting people from being able to come and is the place that you’re having at, would eliminate somebody that’s physically handicapped or somebody who has mobile issues or has a lot of kids and they can’t bring all their kids. We got, one of our singles has like eight kids. And he has to be very careful where he takes his kids. So, be thinking about that. What would other people say about your socials? They’re really fun they’re really good, they’re here for the great vine. Like, “Oh my goodness, these guys do so many incredible things. They’re helping the community. They’re involved. I see lives changing. My friend came to it, she loved it. Now she joined the Sunday school class.” Or are they saying nothing. Nothing. Are you enjoying the socials? Would your socials be something that somebody would tell somebody about? Would they post it on Facebook? That’s a measure for me. I wanna see ownership. I wanna see people post pictures of our retreats, our socials, our hiking, our gatherings, our dinners. Now, granted, not everybody is a photo person like me. I take pictures all the time. But if you did put pictures, would somebody comment on it, would somebody wanna tag somebody that creates energy, but also you have to be strategic, is you have to have a handful of people that are willing to post. We have people in our big retreat take photos throughout the whole weekend, put them in a drop folder and then we do a slideshow at the end. But also the reason why we do that is because we wanna use it as marketing for the next year. See, there’s strategy. It’s not just taking a bunch of photos. We want people to see what we’re doing, because here’s the thing, if I’m coming to something for the first time, I wanna go online through your website or Facebook and I wanna see other people that look like me there. Other people that look like my age. Does it look like it’s things that I wanna do? And it is what it is. And so, I’d rather people just see, we give people all the time that say, “Well, what’s the age group of your ministry?” And I’ll tell them, but I said, “Listen, just go on and look at our pictures and you can see if those people look like you.” Most of the time, it’s not just that they look like you, but are we doing things that I’d wanna do? Do they look like they’re having fun and that I would fit in? Are your socials too often or not enough? Having something once a month, it’s really difficult to create a connection, to create a momentum. So, I always suggest you have a Bible study every week or Sunday school, that’s one. The first Sunday, maybe go to lunch. Now, singles typically go to lunch every week because you don’t wanna go home, but strategy-wise maybe have the first Sunday be strategy where you intentionally invite new people and you pay for them. And so, that’s a strategy. So, you have a first Sunday, a first lunch Sunday, and then you might have a game night somewhere in the month and then you might do a service project. So, there’s a higher chances of connection of people being a part of the ministry, but it’s not just, again, it looks like game night, but you’ve got your leaders spread out. You’re looking for new people and you’re intentionally inviting people to come. Are you praying as a class about your socials? Probably should have been the first one, huh? Making sure people know what they’re designed for. Why we’re doing them. Are you praying to see if this is even what the Lord wants you to do? Just because other people are doing it doesn’t mean you should be doing it. Are your sure if your folks want to even have a social? You can give out a survey, but I really like to ask individually. I think it’s better to talk to people one-on-one, because a lot of times what they put on a survey, it’s not what they’re gonna say in person. Also, are you training people to know how to start conversations as socials, how to build relationships? Are you training them to evangelize? Are you training leaders? Remember I was telling you about how I like to spread out my leaders. So, when they go to dinner, maybe have a table of 20 or something. I don’t know of you today, but maybe I love my leaders to be every three people. Understand that when we start a conversation at a big table, we only talked to typically three people around us, the one in front of us, one here, one here or the other here. You don’t really talk. A group of five doesn’t talk. So, what happens is two cluster then three cluster. So, I have my leaders every three because I want them to be the ears and eyes of the ministry. I want them to listen to the conversation for things that are alarming or concerning. The same thing we do breakouts, we don’t do more than five in a breakout. We have a full, the 1% leads it and then the other four, because again, conversation-wise, it doesn’t work as well. We want to be able to hear from every person and hear their heart and also bring an alarm if there’s something concerning, if somebody says something concerning, but also so that everybody gets a chance to chit chat. So, I have my leaders spread out and I try my leaders to listen for things, to be watchful for things. Same thing we greeters. Are your greeters being trained? Do they understand even at an event. I love to get up and walk around. And when we go to dinner and talk to each person that’s there and acknowledge them or touch them on the shoulder or give them a hug, I want them to know they’re welcome. If you’re having a barbecue at someone’s house, are your leaders walking around and watching and looking and starting conversations and putting their chair to this group and then getting up and putting their chair with this group. Some of you might’ve noticed that about a month ago, I had a social in my house and I got up and I moved around. Because I wanna meet lots of people. I want everyone to feel as welcome as I can into the ministry. I don’t want us to get into what’s called a Holy huddle. Remember, giving out water bottles in the park may be fun, but wouldn’t it be great if everyone in the class could start a conversation that included Christ? Now that you have to lead a person to the Lord, I mean, sometimes you just start a conversation, but giving out water bottles is great or giving out food to the homeless is great, but wouldn’t it be wonderful if they were trained to go to the next level? Would it be wonderful if even when people are out with their friends and it had nothing to do with your ministry, that they would know how to share their faith? Well, that’s called strategy. You have to train people to do that. And then you have to follow up and then you have to ask them how it went and then you have to give them more training. Years ago, I had developed this thing I call it urban ministry. And because one of my pet peeves, when I’d go around to different churches, working with them, they always had a nursing home ministry. “Yep, our strategic, our outrage is we go, minister to old people in a nursing home.” And I hate doing that. I’ll be honest with you. I don’t like it. It smells. And the old is just not my ministry. And to tell me as an entire singles ministry, that’s what we’re gonna do, I don’t think it’s right. I think in order to have the best return on what you’re doing is to have people do what they’re interested in. So, why not have an art class, an art circle for people who are artists and intentionally invite people that are lost to come to it? Why mot have a walking club? Why not have a hiking club? Why not have a bicycling club? Why not have a knitting club? And I say club, I shouldn’t use the word club at ministry, strategic social, where it looks like you’ve invited all in there together, but you know strategically, you invited lost people to come. And so it doesn’t look like a Christian event. It’s just a bunch of people gathering that have something in common, but as time goes on, the goal is to get those lost people to the Lord. It takes time, but that’s the strategy behind it. I would much rather join an art circle, go on a hiking group and invite someone else that is lost that wants to go on a hiking group or someone that’s young in their faith or struggling, than to be forced to get a nursing home and smell what I have to smell. I’m not gonna, it’s just not my wheelhouse. And so, I would rather come up with things that people wanna do because they’re interested in it. Even if it’s a four or five people, than when it’s 30 people and most of them don’t wanna be there. So, here’s some basic elements to help you. And our time is getting a little ahead of us here. It says, make sure there’s real interest and allow the people to take ownership, a team, meaning they get the purpose of it and they wanna be a part of the purpose. They get it. They understand. They see the fruit. They see how it helps. Make sure wherever you’re going, it’s easy to get to, distance and direction. If you’re gonna do a trip somewhere, then make sure that there’s buses or vans or that it’s easy for people to go. If the, we were talking about our hike next weekend and we’re trying to figure out places and I go, “You know what? I can’t even tell people how to find some of these places.” So, we picked a place that’s on the map. Because again, we want it to be easy for people to get there, because if they can’t find it, they don’t come back. Okay? Or if they can’t park, they don’t know where to park, because someone hasn’t organized the parking and they don’t know where to put their food when they get there or they don’t know where to sit when they get there or they don’t know who to talk to, we wanna make it easy, okay? Make sure the cost fits within the budget. Think about people have kids, think about people with disabilities, remember. Time management, make sure the time is manageable that you don’t have to rush to get there, rush to get back. You need to have clear communication through social media, your website, flyers and person emails. What kinda social is it? Is it just for our class? Is it open to outsiders, including those who are not Christians? Remember, when you do strategic fellowships and you invite lost people, this is very, very important. Be careful of Christianese. “Hey, y’all, we’re just gonna fellowship in the Lord because Jesus is our savior. We love him.” You just lost the lost person completely. Now, the lost already was, but they’re really lost now. Be careful that we don’t use terminology that a lost person has no idea what we’re talking about. I’m not saying be the world, but I’m saying, be aware of that. Also be aware that when you invite people that are lost and you have a dinner at a restaurant, they may order alcohol, or you may be a private church, it’s okay with alcohol. I have a rule in my ministry that no one who is a leader drinks. I ask them not to drink at all as a part of being a part of leadership. Now, what they do privately in their home, I can’t control. But when they’re out in a group, we wanna set a model. We wanna be an example and we will never want anybody to fall spiritually. But we do know that people may come and have a drink at a restaurant. Now, you can control a barbecue at someone’s house, you can control we’re going hiking and no alcohol, but you can’t always control it in a restaurant. When you communicate in your marketing, who are your leaders? Who do they contact? And your leaders need to be available. I’ve had, I’ve done ministries over the years where people are like, “Well, you can put my number, but I never answer my phone.” Okay, well, I’m not on Facebook, but yet the whole ministry is on Facebook. So, they’re not on Facebook, well, they’re probably not gonna be a good leader for you, at least not in that area. What should they wear? What should they bring? What should they expect? Yellow coffee there. What’s the cost? What are the directions to get there? Where do they park? How do they register? Online or in person? Is there a deadline? Is there childcare? Can I bring my pet? Is there a carpool? Where are they meeting to ride together? How am I gonna get back on the carpool? Is ordering alcohol allowed? Do you need more help? Is there value for them to come? There has to be a value or motivation for people to come. With singles, it’s other singles. But with single parents or married, it may be just getting a break. Now, I know not everybody that’s watching this is single. Some of you are married. Some of you lead ministry as a married person or you’re married pastor. And so, we know you may come to a social because you just need a break. Maybe you need a break from the kids. Maybe you need a break from work or whatever. But singles typically are motivated because they think other singles are gonna be there. So, understand there’s no value. It’s the same old people doing the same old thing, well, I wouldn’t wanna go either, right? And I’ll be honest with you. I’ve got some ministries close to me and I know the kinda people that are there and I don’t wanna go because I know who’s gonna be there and that’s their problem because they haven’t done anything in their ministry to change that. And it’s just the same three people doing all the work and the same 20 show up that do nothing. Will they learn something they need to know? Will they draw closer to God? Will they make new friends? When you’re at the event, make sure they wear a name tag. Provide an easy way to check in, drop off food, get their name tag, pay money, childcare, where to meet. Make sure your leaders do not sit together. Greeters are needed for all events. They’re the eyes and ears of your ministry. And they also can be your security watching out for things. Ask open-ended questions. Take time to get to know people. Listen to their stories. Offer prayer. Network, be organized, start on time and end on time when you need to, but also have flexibility in that. Recently, a gentleman was saying that our Bible studies have gotten later than normal. And I said, anytime people can just take off. But if we’re teaching the word and people responding, you’re doing a Bible study and people responding and people’s lives are changing and people are getting healing and people are needing prayer, don’t end, keep going. But if you find you’re rambling and people are complaining and saying there’s nothing getting done and you’re just rambling and rambling and rambling, then that’s the evaluation part where you go, “Maybe we do need to cut this.” So, we have a thing called afterchat, because we know people wanna just talk about their lives and things that are happening. So, you say we’re gonna teach from kind of this time to this time and then we’re gonna do afterchat so that some people know, “Okay, it’s gonna end at this time and I can be done and then if I wanna stay on, I can.” Do the same thing with all of your socials, have an end time, especially if it’s at your house and you’re like, “Listen, I don’t wanna be up to 3:00 in the morning cleaning up.” So, say it ends at 10:00, clean up, and then by 11:30 they’re all gone, but you might have a few hanging out, but having a start in time will probably be good for you. Make sure people have what they need for the event. The resources, the guests or new folks info, so you can get follow up with them. Have them sign up something. A little bit about their information, so you can follow up. Watch for those who are alone, socially-disconnected or could cause problems. Ask people you know and don’t know for help. I’m a big, what’s called volunteer you, I’ll ask you to do something just to see what you do because I’m looking for more volunteers. I’m looking for more people to get involved. And I think people just wanna be asked for feedback of your event so you can do better next time. Maybe end the event with a door prize, for people who fill out an evaluation as a motivation to fill out the evaluation. Meet with your team to evaluate and make changes. What worked with one class or group might not work with another. Remember, when leadership team plans socials often they’re made up of more women than men. This is critical when you’re planning your events. So, understand guys typically like things, they don’t talk as much. Although I think men talk just as much as women, but the perception may not be that way. But men typically plan sporting events, outdoor, camping trips, service projects, and women typically create events that are more social-based, where we talk and emotions and that kind of stuff. So, be in mind when you plan a lot of things where you’re worried about the tabletop decoration and the colors and that the punch matches the cake, guys don’t care. And in fact they probably won’t come. And so I would rather plan an event that I know all men wanna come to and other women will show up. So, keep that in mind. Plan an event that all men would like and then the women will come. So, axe throwing, target shooting, outdoor, hiking, fishing, sporting events, all these things, eating at restaurants that have real food, not little toppers. Men don’t really like little teeny food. They want big food, big burgers. And then I promise you, the women will come. But getting men in our ministry is a whole another talk. And I’m gonna tell you what, you gotta pray man, and you gotta build relationships with men, but that’s another talk. And I’ve got information on my website that can help you with that. Ephesians 4:16 says, “From whom the whole body joined and held together by every joint from which it is equipped. When each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” And so, we wanna build teams. We wanna build and be strategic in what we’re doing. We want there to be a purpose behind our socials, and we wanna see fruit that comes from them. You don’t need anybody to plan your social life. You can pick up the phone and write a few friends and they’ll do something. But when it comes to your ministry, when you plan a social, it needs to be strategic. You need to be thinking about why you’re doing it, what’s the purpose? is there fruits? Is there value? Are people still invested? Is my team invested? Do I have a team? And pray. Pray, pray, pray. And if you decide, you know what, right now we’re just gonna stay focused on the Bible study and people can just talk to each other and plan things to do among themselves, because they will. When people do a Bible study, they usually say, “What are you doing this weekend?” Then just let them plan their own things. And you wait, until you have the team that you need to plan a strategic social. So, the rest of our time is gonna be, we can talk and we can share ideas, but the rest of that handout is a gazillion creative social events. So, it’s not just the normal stuff that everybody does, but I have been gathering ideas for 10 years, at least, and expanded upon them and there’s a massive list here that you can go through and glean from. And if you have more, if you’ve done some of these and said, “Oh, I did that. It didn’t work really well because I changed this.” Or, “Hey, have you thought about this?” Put it in the chat or email me. I’ll put my email address in there. Email me because I’ll just add to it. And it’s free. I have this whole list free on my website so that you can, as we keep getting more and more creative ideas, the more things we can put in there. So, I hope you enjoyed this time and maybe you’re thinking differently about how to do your socials, right, Eileen?

– Yes, I think so. I thought it was interesting that you, and I didn’t look through your list to see if axe throwing was on there. I’m going axe throwing on Friday night with, I have family coming in and I lined it up. I’ve been once before. It is so fun. And I was telling somebody and they went, “Axe?” I said, “Yeah, I mean, who knew?” So, there’s all kinds of events you can do.

– I wanna say, it was actually, Spoony, I’m thinking it might’ve been with your group at First Baptist. First Baptist in Houston, one of the largest singles ministries in the country, they have some really creative ideas, definitely put a link, Spoony, to your church because they do movie nights right now with COVID. And that’s probably the other thing is like, how do you do all this with COVID? But they’re doing movie nights and worship nights and game nights. And you can just Google Zoom games and tons of things come up. Because the whole goal is connecting people. Connecting the ones we already know, so people, we don’t lose people because COVID has caused us to lose a lot of people. They kind of fell off the radar and they’re already not great on the radar when we were together. Because singles, they don’t come back to some of our things. We don’t know what’s happened to them. But we wanna keep the existing folks connected, but then we also wanna create a door. So, we know that either COVID we hate it, we’ve been able to reach people that we never were able to reach before COVID.

– Right.

– Because online creates a safer way for me to connect. I don’t even have to show my face and I can jump in on an event and a game that you guys were doing.

– Let me put on there that they’ve got that online game night figured out. So, you can go to their website, impactsingles.org. She put that information in the chat. And another thing I thought of, is you could do a scavenger hunt in your own home on Zoom. Somebody comes up with the list and it would just be funny, crazy items you think of that, who has a baseball trophy from 1954?

– Right you create a massive list. I’ve done everything from what’s in your purse or your bag, your backpack, what’s in your car, how many weird things, how many things do you have in your shower? Women always have about 25, 30 things in their shower and guys have four. It’s just kinda fun to see the creativeness or look at your bookcase and go, “How many of those books have you actually read all the way through?” And just, or everybody can make dinner and sit together and eat dinner and talk about whatever or watch a movie and then sit and eat and talk about the movie. I’ve literally, there’s probably a hundred or more creative. These are creative. This is not just go to dinner, but let’s take it to the next level. And so, I’ve been collecting them for quite a while. There’s really, you can go through the list. If you’re not sure what one of them means, like that’s crazy. It’s weird. Explain that. Like the appetizer hop. It was a playoff of the old days of a beer hop. Okay. Y’all, some of you might remember them old days. And so, instead of going from place to place and drinking a beer, you’d go from place to place to eat an appetizer. And people ask you, you don’t sit down, you’d go to the bar and you just like, like the TJ Fridays or whatever and you just order an appetizer. And everybody puts out a buck and you eat the appetizer and people say, “What are you doing?” That’s a group of 10 of you. What are you doing? And you tell them, “We’re from First Baptist.” Or, “We’re from Second Presbyterian,” or whatever, “And we’re doing this fun thing as a group of singles.” And again, you can have a brochure ready. Have something to give out because you always wanna have something to give out when people ask, you can get their information too, so you can follow up. And it’s just, but it’s fun, but it’s also strategic and that you can reach people for the Lord,

– Yeah. And perhaps just could say, they’d been to a bar. Wow, that’s amazing.

– Yeah. Yeah.

– I need to put some more information there about the digital scavenger hunt and things like that. And so really Kris, even, I mean, these are things that people could do, because of limited funds, they could do these, these kinds of things also. But what are some… Are some of those ideas that you have in your list, more geared to no funds, limited funds?

– Everything. I’ve thought of everything. I mean, if you just like, just going through the list, just generally, let’s just go through. Actually, one of your lady, Stacy, Spoony, Stacy, Eileen’s friends, but that’s at First Baptist, she told me about this crazy idea where everybody was asked to bring an item to donate to a food shelter. You have to bring two items. So, people brought, “Okay, I brought a can of beans and I brought a can of Spam.” And when they got to her house, she says, “Okay, I’m putting you in groups of two and you have to make the meal tonight using the food you brought.” And they’re like, “I got Spam and I got beans.” And it was just, and they’re like, some, “I brought flowers,” some, “I brought sugar.” And so they made a cake. And she said it was so much fun and it was cheap. And she goes, “But then I did have stuff to carry to the shelter, I don’t want you to think I didn’t have things.” But I loved that that was kinda out of the box, really cheap to do, cook cake cups slot, progressive dinner, breakfast, serving breakfast for events, normally designed for dinners such as Valentine’s. So you can do it. That’s not overly creative dinners for eight. I used to do dinners for seven and pick a theme from around the country, that talk about that country and what the Christians are going and doing in that country. Bakeoffs, people love to bring their favorite chili and compete against each other. Let’s see, cooking classes, one of you might be a really good cook and the rest of us are terrible, we could come and you could, maybe at the church has a fellowship hall and you could teach some basics on how to cut up a rib roast or something. Let’s talk about, obviously you ever heard of a mancation? So, a mancation is an event for men with all different physical things that men like to do from fishing to golfing and they eat large meals and they sit around, but it’s a mancation encouraging our guys and growing our guys. Obviously, we’ve seen the amazing race, fashion circle women, women like that. Any type of sport, Bible study, here’s some ideas, taking characters out of the Bible or dressing up like those characters. Karaoke of course has been around a long time. That’s not something too interesting, but you could get a karaoke machine and do one in your house. You don’t actually have to go to a bar where it’s smokey or, not smokey, but drinking. You can do it yourself. Form a group and learn sign language. Do music. I love when people do the beautiful that… It’s free. You can even do that online.

– How do I get people to help me do it?

– Well, that’s the ownership part going back. So, you don’t announce, “Hey, we’re gonna have this event,” and then hopefully people just show up and everybody’s gonna help you. There might be two or three that will, because that’s just in their heart, but I don’t wanna just get two or three people and it’s the same two or three people. So, I build relationships with people and I build a team. So, you have to build a leadership team that even if your leadership team is not the team over your Bible study or over the ministry, they’re the team that does the social. And so they may say, “Well, I’ll commit to doing one social month. And that’s the only thing I wanna serve on. I don’t wanna do anything else.” That’s fine. But they have to commit and follow through. So, having them commit and follow through, they have to have ownership. So, when coming up with the event, if I said to you, “Okay, we’re gonna do a scavenger hunt in the city,” Okay? And out of 10 people, eight of them are like, “I don’t wanna do a scavenger hunt in the city,” but then you don’t do a scavenger hunt in the city. You ask them, “What would you like to do? What interests you?” And have them understand that not everybody’s gonna get their way and not everybody may like it, but if the mindset is to reach people for Jesus, and that’s what we should be doing, then hopefully they’ll go along with it. And so, if you say, “Hey, we’re gonna go give out bottles and hot dogs in the park,” well, what does that look like? Well, first we probably need an evangelism one-on-one class, just in case somebody was to ask you, “Are you prepared to be able to share your faith?” And then we’re gonna talk about what does it look like? Do we give out water bottles and put labels on them that say, “Welcome to First Baptist.” Do we have wrappers in the hot dogs or the wrappers have the steps of salvation on them. Are we gonna set up somewhere or are we gonna walk around and give it out? Or do we have a license and a permit to give out food in the park? So, all that is strategy and planning, but if you involve people, a handful of people in the planning and they take ownership and they have ideas and you listen to their ideas, more likely they’ll commit and follow through.

– That’s awesome.

– Yeah. Yeah.

– Spoony has put some more information there about something that she’s working on. So, if you’re a scrapbooker, you might look on there because that might be something that you could join her Zoom. If you email her, I’m sure she’d be glad for you to be added there. But I don’t have any other questions that have come. This has been great information. And again, you’ll find this webinar posted. When you get that notification, it’ll be posted. And that will mean that the other two that happened on Thursday night and Tuesday night are also posted. So, just be looking for that email to come to that email address that you gave.

– Now, I know, Eileen, you might’ve thought we were gonna be on this webinar, that we’re gonna go through 150 different ideas for your ministry. And as much as I would like to do that, and we can have a lot of fun doing that, I really felt that having all the ideas doesn’t guarantee that you’re gonna have a good social. So, that’s why I’m just giving you the list. You can read the list and decide for yourself, but if you don’t know why you’re doing the social, if you don’t put strategy behind it, if you don’t build a team, then you’re gonna get burned out. It’s gonna be the same one or two people doing all the work. And it’s just… And I have people in our ministry that expect you to have socials, right? They’re like, “What are we doing this month? What are we doing this weekend?” And they’re always the ones that are doing nothing. They’re always the ones that are not helping, they’re not setting up, they’re not cleaning up, and you’d like to think, “Why do I have to tell you? Why do I have to communicate that we need help?” Well, you do. Now, I’d like to think some of you are mature enough. You wouldn’t be sitting on your butt the whole time we have an event and just going, “Well, gosh, look at all that work that has to be done. I’m glad I can just sit here.” Shame on you. Okay? But for me, I’ll just ask you. I’m not gonna sit there and boo hoo about it and then complain afterwards. I really love doing socials. I love doing events. I love having fun. I love what comes out of a social. I love seeing lives change. I love reaching lost people. But I also don’t wanna exhaust myself and get burned out. So, if I don’t be strategic and ask people to help and tell them what’s expected, when I don’t ask people at the event, “Hey, would you get these chairs? Hey, would you get the trash and carry it off?” If I don’t do that, I’m not building the kingdom. I’m making it about Kris, what Kris wants. So, I don’t believe there’s anywhere in the Bible that says that it’s about me and fun for me. And although I want you as a guest to have fun, and I don’t want you to feel like, “Oh gosh, every time Kris plans something, I gotta work.” I don’t want you to look at it that way, but I do want you to look at it as, “Wow, every time Kris has something, we see lives change, and I’m so glad that I get to help him that.” And so, try to find a balance somewhere.

– Right. Exactly. So, well, thank you so much for sharing this morning with us, all of you. And we will be back for our final webinar tomorrow afternoon at 2:00 PM. I’m sorry, I don’t know the Argentina time or the Wales’s or UK time.

– Isn’t it 2:30?

– I believe it’s 2:00.

– Is it 2:00? Okay. Maybe yeah. You’re right. Because it ends at 4:30 my time. You’re right. Yep. So, for England, it is 8:00 to 9:30 in England and Wales.

– In Argentina, Sylvia said that it’s 11:41 there. So they’re are two hours ahead.

– Okay. So, let me just tell you, the leadership one is really important. It is, how we build our team, which is gonna help you answer some of the questions here. Max is watching us, Eileen and you’ve known Max probably as long as I’ve known him. Max, we love you any of your input, any of your ideas that you had, that you did with all your singles for many, many, many years that was fun or strategy, or definitely had to get more men involved because he had, he’s next to a military base and he had a lot more guys than girls, I’m sure, but would love input in… Hey Max, if you wanna put a link to your publishing. He’s written some books and he’s written definitely one on singleness that may be a value and those who don’t know me as well, go to my website, thesinglesnetwork.org, thesinglesnetwork.org, you’ll also see various books, Bible studies that I’ve written and resources that will help you grow your ministry. And hey guys, I don’t know everything. So, you may be a part of a ministry and you did some things that were great and awesome. Maybe you’ve written some articles. Maybe you have some suggestions, some websites, some links and things that I need to know about that I need to add to my site. Maybe a book that you really loved. I mean, even today, Eileen, Pastor Steve Harris, a friend of mine posted this article that a Christian wrote on why everybody is so angry right now and what we’re seeing online. And the reality is guys, we’re bombarded with so many messages all day long and our brains just explode. So, planning a strategic fellowship where people can just breathe, just breathe, might be what we need to plan right now. So, you know what, think about it, pray about it, make sure it’s really what God wants. Don’t let people pressure you into something you don’t need to be doing. Okay? Don’t do it because this church does it or this small group does it. You do what God wants you to do because there’s a plan in it. Playing for success versus playing for failure. That’s Weight Watchers, give him a little plug.

– Sounds great. Well, thank you again for being here. And if you’re going to be able to join us, we’ll look for you tomorrow. If you’re not, we’re sad to see you go. But we’re just glad that you’re here. Let’s pray together. Father, I just thank you for this opportunity to think about creative ways that we can engage people with the purpose of leading them to Christ, with the purpose to draw them in, to be a part of a ministry, to perhaps reconnect them to a life that they had never fully developed, a relationship fully vested in you Father. And so Father, I thank you for Kris, for her leadership during this time. I thank you for each of these participants. The time that they’ve spent this morning with us, and we just appreciate what they’re doing in their community and how these ideas are spreading new ideas in their mind and thinking about who they can connect with to develop these teams, to do a more fulfilling ministry in their own location. We thank you, Lord, for all these things. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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